One year qualified...
So I thought I'd revive my blog to tell my story about transitioning from student to qualified nurse. I've seen and read quite a few horror stories and wanted to put out what I feel is a good story!
I've always had a love for cardiothoracics and emergency care and was lucky enough to have placements in cardiothoracics, A&E and MAU (my management was on MAU on the Isle of Wight!). In Feb '17 I secured a job on the cardiothoracic ward at the Royal Brompton. I qualified at the start of September, was legally allowed to start work on the 18th but gave myself an extra week off <---- would seriously recommend this, you're about to start the rest of your life which for me meant the next 45 years of working, have a proper break now.
Way back when I was looking at jobs I was super interested in the support available to NQN as everyone tells you the transition is tough and don't get me wrong it is. The trust I picked offer a 1 year preceptorship period, with 3 weeks supernumerary, and a wealth of study days. I thought perfect I'll feel vaguely ready to be an actual proper nurse with an actual proper pin after that. Wrong. And right.
During my 3 weeks supernumerary I was with a band 6 or senior band 5 everyday, by the 3rd week I was taking a bay of 6 patients (that's the max patients each nurse has). I know some of you may be going 'only 6?!' but take it from me these can be some super ill 6 patients, even for a level 1 ward. We have an emergency on what can seem like a weekly basis. Despite all the prep in those first 3 weeks I was a bag of nerves on my first shift alone. Nothing prepares you for seeing your name, and your name alone, next to a bay on the ward board. I remember whispering to the nurse handing over to me that I was scared, she reassured me I'd been given the easiest bay (of course) and that I should have confidence in myself. My confidence was long gone. I felt like a fraud saying 'Hello my name is Hannah and I'll be your nurse today'. Sometimes I still do but that feeling goes, and you find your confidence again. Thankfully my trust puts all new starters, NQN or not, on short shifts. You do 5days a week, and only Monday - Friday for the first 2 months, then you transition to long shifts and nights. Honestly talk to your ward and see if they can do this or similar for you, some days it was all that kept me going was knowing I just had to make it through to 12:30 when the late shift would start and then I'd go home at 3:30.
Anyway skip forward to now. I've been qualified for nearly a year, which I can't believe, it feels like yesterday. I've had my ups and downs, I've cried, I've felt stupid and useless. But I'm still here, and I'm managing it. In fact I've managed to pass some small tidbits of information and knowledge onto new starters. I still love nursing, and I can't wait to see what future it holds for me. I've hit rock bottom several times - namely when we had an emergency at 6:30pm, middle of meds round, and after that I handed over a mess of my 6 patients (I'd finished the meds only 15 mins before handover). I cried whilst I started an NG feed. In fact I cried the whole way home. I've managed to leave on time most days thankfully, except on nights when I seem incapable of getting out before 8:15am. Your time management does get better, or you just get sneakier at when you take breaks, some days I take my evening 30mins at 5:30pm because it's then or never. You'll have good days and bad days, but you'll always have a team to support you, ask them for help. There's no shame in admitting you're struggling. There's no bigger high than discharging several patients and the beds staying empty though that basically never happens! Second best in looking at your handover and realising you've had 9 or 10 patients through one 6 bedded bay and everyone is okay, including you. Trust me those days do come. Personally the tipping point between rough days and good was about 3 months in, up till then its freefall. But among the bad days there are many good ones!
In summary it's been a tough year but it's been equally rewarding. You do get better, there will be a time you don't fear going into work, there will even be a time you are looking forward to going in! There will be days when you look at your colleagues and they all have the same dejected look on their face, even if they've been qualified for years and you'll all say 'pub?' in unison. You'll be proud when you get signed off on IVs, then terrified that you're actually giving medication straight into someone's vein. But then you'll give so many that its normal, I think I can draw up Taz and Cef in my sleep, to be honest I have actually dreamed it. Teicoplanin however likes to froth at the slightest movement - no one can draw that up in their sleep. I managed to draw it up with only 2 bubbles the other day and my colleague congratulated me haha! As you may have guessed, you take happiness and reward from the small things.
In summary summary, you've all got this. Enjoy your days off, plan frequent holidays (my A/L means I can take a week every 2 months), enjoy the mini achievements and celebrate the big ones, forget the bad days. And as I said to my brother once, eat, sleep, nurse, repeat!
I've always had a love for cardiothoracics and emergency care and was lucky enough to have placements in cardiothoracics, A&E and MAU (my management was on MAU on the Isle of Wight!). In Feb '17 I secured a job on the cardiothoracic ward at the Royal Brompton. I qualified at the start of September, was legally allowed to start work on the 18th but gave myself an extra week off <---- would seriously recommend this, you're about to start the rest of your life which for me meant the next 45 years of working, have a proper break now.
Way back when I was looking at jobs I was super interested in the support available to NQN as everyone tells you the transition is tough and don't get me wrong it is. The trust I picked offer a 1 year preceptorship period, with 3 weeks supernumerary, and a wealth of study days. I thought perfect I'll feel vaguely ready to be an actual proper nurse with an actual proper pin after that. Wrong. And right.
During my 3 weeks supernumerary I was with a band 6 or senior band 5 everyday, by the 3rd week I was taking a bay of 6 patients (that's the max patients each nurse has). I know some of you may be going 'only 6?!' but take it from me these can be some super ill 6 patients, even for a level 1 ward. We have an emergency on what can seem like a weekly basis. Despite all the prep in those first 3 weeks I was a bag of nerves on my first shift alone. Nothing prepares you for seeing your name, and your name alone, next to a bay on the ward board. I remember whispering to the nurse handing over to me that I was scared, she reassured me I'd been given the easiest bay (of course) and that I should have confidence in myself. My confidence was long gone. I felt like a fraud saying 'Hello my name is Hannah and I'll be your nurse today'. Sometimes I still do but that feeling goes, and you find your confidence again. Thankfully my trust puts all new starters, NQN or not, on short shifts. You do 5days a week, and only Monday - Friday for the first 2 months, then you transition to long shifts and nights. Honestly talk to your ward and see if they can do this or similar for you, some days it was all that kept me going was knowing I just had to make it through to 12:30 when the late shift would start and then I'd go home at 3:30.
Anyway skip forward to now. I've been qualified for nearly a year, which I can't believe, it feels like yesterday. I've had my ups and downs, I've cried, I've felt stupid and useless. But I'm still here, and I'm managing it. In fact I've managed to pass some small tidbits of information and knowledge onto new starters. I still love nursing, and I can't wait to see what future it holds for me. I've hit rock bottom several times - namely when we had an emergency at 6:30pm, middle of meds round, and after that I handed over a mess of my 6 patients (I'd finished the meds only 15 mins before handover). I cried whilst I started an NG feed. In fact I cried the whole way home. I've managed to leave on time most days thankfully, except on nights when I seem incapable of getting out before 8:15am. Your time management does get better, or you just get sneakier at when you take breaks, some days I take my evening 30mins at 5:30pm because it's then or never. You'll have good days and bad days, but you'll always have a team to support you, ask them for help. There's no shame in admitting you're struggling. There's no bigger high than discharging several patients and the beds staying empty though that basically never happens! Second best in looking at your handover and realising you've had 9 or 10 patients through one 6 bedded bay and everyone is okay, including you. Trust me those days do come. Personally the tipping point between rough days and good was about 3 months in, up till then its freefall. But among the bad days there are many good ones!
In summary it's been a tough year but it's been equally rewarding. You do get better, there will be a time you don't fear going into work, there will even be a time you are looking forward to going in! There will be days when you look at your colleagues and they all have the same dejected look on their face, even if they've been qualified for years and you'll all say 'pub?' in unison. You'll be proud when you get signed off on IVs, then terrified that you're actually giving medication straight into someone's vein. But then you'll give so many that its normal, I think I can draw up Taz and Cef in my sleep, to be honest I have actually dreamed it. Teicoplanin however likes to froth at the slightest movement - no one can draw that up in their sleep. I managed to draw it up with only 2 bubbles the other day and my colleague congratulated me haha! As you may have guessed, you take happiness and reward from the small things.
In summary summary, you've all got this. Enjoy your days off, plan frequent holidays (my A/L means I can take a week every 2 months), enjoy the mini achievements and celebrate the big ones, forget the bad days. And as I said to my brother once, eat, sleep, nurse, repeat!
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